Last night while going through the fan group chat, I suddenly received a message from a fan, Annie: “Do you believe in love at first sight or love over time?”

Because she felt that she had developed too quickly with her boyfriend, and had done everything she should and shouldn’t have done in a month’s time.

“Actually, I think something like love over time would be more suitable for an insecure person like me, I guess.”

This is what Annie said to me the most in the chat.

My boyfriend and I met at a party, and at the time, we just thought he was very cheerful and had the idea of making friends.

After getting acquainted with him, I found that he is a very interesting person, chatting about work and life every day, and sharing his daily experiences and all kinds of interesting stories on the internet.

On the tenth day of our acquaintance, he confessed his love to me, and although he was a bit hesitant, he still accepted…

In the following week, we went out in couple’s clothes, cooked together, prepared gifts for each other, went to the beach, etc., so much so that I had the illusion that the years were still young.

On the twenty-third day of knowing each other, we had an argument, he often didn’t reply to my messages, I couldn’t find anyone on the phone, and I tried to ask my friends but found out I didn’t have a single close friend of his.

I asked him if he didn’t love me anymore, but he said to me with a carefree face: “I’m tired of it, let’s get together”.

I did not expect a lot of things, just did not expect this “10 times the speed of approaching you will also be 10 times the speed of leaving” words, in my body to prove it.

I guess it’s like building a building without a good foundation, the building is always shaky and can’t stand the slightest breeze. When we start a relationship hastily with only a faint feeling of goodwill, it is a kind of disappointment for both parties.

02

There’s always a process from meeting two people to establishing a relationship, but my friend Ato doesn’t see it that way.

When Ato first fell in love with her online lover, I couldn’t help but ask her, “You’ve only known each other for a little over two months, do you really know each other well enough?”

She looked me in the eye and said firmly, “If you like it, then get together, there’s always time to get to know each other after you’re together, right?”

Such firmness turned into a bubble after they had been living together for two months.

Anne says: It was only after being with him that I realised I wasn’t the only one of his online girlfriends, and there were many dating apps.

Looking at the person who was once so deeply in love with me, now in order to go out and date other people, lying in front of me, full of holes.

When I expose him one by one, he turns it around and says, “Who let you be so casual, chatting for a few days and then living with someone else?”

Sometimes we have to admit that love is something that takes time to sink in.

After all, at first sight, it is always better than living for a long time.

03

My dad often read before, nowadays young people are too fast, walking have not learnt to think of running, do not know anything to fall into self-absorption, make a strong rush forward, do not see the road in front of them there is no road.

Meet a favourite person to think of faster together, but together not long and quickly separated, and then meet a new person to start, and then quickly separated ……

Until all the longing is consumed, and then dishevelled pointing to God and say: “I do not believe in love.”

There are really too many things like this.

I guess: there are a lot of people who develop quickly with their date and are happy together. But I hope, he is the person you still feel worthy after careful consideration.

So what I understand in love should be:

I’ve seen your flaws, but I still find you cute;

I have experienced the torture of losing you, but still firm in my choice;

You understand my unkindness, and I understand your bravado and difficulty;

It doesn’t matter if it’s you who’s watching over me, it’s okay to be slow;