Today, I’d like to share three pieces of relationship psychology. The Law of Inverse Proportion is explained in the field of mathematics as follows: Inverse Proportion is the proportionality of two variables when the product of the two variables is a constant, and when two related quantities, one of which is changing, the other is also changing, and the product remains the same. In this way they are inversely proportional quantities, and their relationship is inversely proportional (that is, one becomes larger and the other smaller, and smaller and the other larger). In love this law can be simply summarised as follows: the value of your love is fixed, the greater your love, the smaller her love. As they say, an evenly matched love lasts forever, which is the same as if their love is 100. then their respective values are around 50.

The Law of Inverse Proportions in Love Relationships

Psychological contrast: In the early stage of a relationship, both partners will show their best side, but as time goes by, the true character and behavioural habits are gradually revealed, which may lead to psychological contrast.

Sense of self-worth: When one partner invests too much in the relationship while the other invests too little, it may lead to an imbalance in the sense of self-worth and affect the stability of the relationship.

Attitude towards relationships: Sometimes, high expectations of a relationship can lead to disappointment and frustration, which is consistent with the law of inverse proportion, “the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment”.

Emotional Demand: When one partner has too much emotional demand on the other, it often leads to increased pressure on the other partner, which in turn makes the relationship strained.

爱的反比定律

1. he loves you the most when you don’t love him, he comes to you when you are indifferent.
2. he doesn’t cherish you when you’re nice to him, and he licks his chops and comes to you when you want to give up
3. the more times you fall in love, the richer your emotional experience, the higher your emotional value, and the less heartfelt your feelings are
4. Love words to the left ear is more beautiful, standing in the left hand side of the heterosexual Xing easier to get a good feeling
5. The longest period of infatuation is four months, more than this time is really like each other.
6. upgrading the relationship between two people is not confession, but physical contact.
7. when you are especially good to ta, ta has a sense of security, when you are indifferent to ta, ta will be afraid of you leaving.

First of all, let’s explore a concept called “scarcity mentality”. When you hear this term, many people may immediately relate to it. So what is the scarcity mentality? Simply put, it’s a mindset that develops as a result of scarcity. When something becomes scarce, it invisibly captures our brains and makes us focus on solving that scarcity.

For example, if you’ve never had any female friends around you, and suddenly one day a girl starts interacting with you, you may treat her like a treasure and fear losing her. This phenomenon occurs not only because you are afraid of losing this girl, but also because you have fallen into the “scarcity mentality”.

However, this mentality will make you focus too much on the scarcity of things, resulting in your vision becoming narrow, reducing your insight and foresight. In relationships or social interactions with girls, this mindset can cause you to become overly sensitive, which can affect your judgement and social intuition. You may overlook a lot of important details that are crucial in the relationship process.

Therefore, be wary of the “

” on you and endeavour to keep an open and broad perspective to improve your social skills and insight.

People are often misled by inertia. For example, when we find a particular food item in a shop particularly tasty, we may subconsciously assume that the rest of the food in the shop is equally tasty. However, after trying them, we often find that the truth is very different from our expectations. In love, this is not uncommon. Sometimes our brains tell us we love someone in a habitual way, but it may just be a trick the brain is playing on us.

The Rationalisation Effect

There is a concept in psychology called the “rationalisation effect”, which refers to the subconscious mind’s tendency to unconsciously seek rational explanations for what is happening, whether it is right or wrong. Our brain tends to explain things in terms of “common sense” and give reasons that seem to make sense. As mentioned at the beginning of this article, do we really love the person we are having a relationship with? Maybe not.

The rationalisation principle is particularly evident in romantic relationships. For example, when a girlfriend behaves in a way that is hurtful, some men don’t question why the other person treats them in such a way; instead, they first reflect on whether or not they have done anything wrong. Another example is that when their girlfriend suddenly yells at them, instead of blaming the other person, some men will make excuses and justifications for the other person, trying to convince themselves that the other person might be doing it because something is bothering them.

Our brains always like to provide us with seemingly reasonable feedback, yet these seemingly rationalised ideas actually keep hurting us more and more.

The other day, a young friend confided in me about something. Due to time constraints, I only replied to him yesterday. He mentioned that his girlfriend was very cold to him, and he usually took the initiative to contact the other person. He was worried that their relationship would gradually drift apart if they did not keep interacting during the epidemic.

I could well understand his concern. He has invested a lot of feelings but is afraid that his effort is not worth it; however, he feels reluctant to give up if he does not take the initiative to contact the other person. When his girlfriend makes a request to him, he can’t bear to refuse. In fact, all of this is our brain at work, “rationalisation” psychology forces us to make decisions that may not be the best choice.

Not being able to say no to your girlfriend’s request is essentially a fear of upsetting the other person. This may seem like a no-brainer when you think about it from the other person’s perspective. But in reality, when you think about it, isn’t it all really ridiculous – do the situations we envisage really reflect what the other person is really thinking?

For example, when our girlfriend doesn’t contact us for two or three days we reassure ourselves that she probably doesn’t have time to contact us because she’s too busy with work. However, we don’t know what the truth is – it’s just the brain releasing false information to give our troubled minds a brief moment of comfort – even if the information is false, and the horror is that we believe this false comfort – it’s a catastrophe!

The Barnum Effect

In love, people often make self-knowledge and interpretation of various emotional states and characteristics. Among them, some universal emotional characteristics, due to its wide recognition, can often trigger a wonderful sense of belonging and mystery, which is the specific performance of the “Barnum effect in love”.
From a psychological point of view, this effect may arise from people’s deep desire for understanding and empathy in love. Emotional states are often difficult to describe precisely, so people need to rely on generalisations that are universal to help them understand. When these generalisations can be applied to most people’s emotional states, it naturally triggers a sense of identity and belonging.
On a sociological level, people tend to set a series of criteria when looking for a partner and a relationship, especially in terms of attractiveness and personality traits. In these areas, people tend to pursue those commonalities that are widely recognised and accepted by society, thus contributing to the Barnum effect in love.
Analysed from a cultural perspective, people’s views on love and standards of relationships also vary across cultures. In some cultures, such as the Romantic culture in the United States, people generally seek partners who are sensual, romantic, and able to share their lives together. This broad cultural recognition makes the Barnum effect more significant in love, as most people are looking for certain similar qualities and emotional experiences.
In conclusion, the Barnum effect in love is a universal psychological phenomenon, which stems from people’s pursuit of understanding and empathy, and is jointly influenced by social and cultural factors. A deeper understanding and awareness of this effect will help us to see our behaviour and feelings in love more clearly and thus make more informed choices!

这就是 “爱情中的巴纳姆效应 “的一个例子：
Suppose there is a young couple, Jack and Suzanne, who met at a social event. During their initial conversation, Jack mentions that he believes in true love and that the most important thing for two people to have together is to have common values and interests. Suzanne felt the same way and also said that she had been looking for a partner with a common language and interests.
As their relationship deepened, Jack and Suzanne found that they had a lot in common, such as both like travelling, watching movies, listening to music, etc. They began to feel very much in love with each other. They begin to feel very much connected to each other, and this sense of connection comes partly from these commonalities they have discovered, which makes their feelings for each other even deeper.
However, these commonalities are actually largely universal, meaning that many couples may find that they have similar interests and hobbies. However, as Jack and Suzanne continue to reinforce these commonalities in their conversations, they feel so similar to each other that they develop a special bond and understanding.
This is an example of the Barnum Effect in love. Jack and Suzanne discovered some commonalities, which created a special sense of belonging and closeness, a feeling that made them appreciate each other more and deepened their relationship. In reality, however, these commonalities may not be enough to show how special or unique their connection is, as many other couples may also share these commonalities.
This example demonstrates how people in love can be affected by the Barnum effect, whereby they strengthen their connection and feelings for each other by finding and emphasising commonalities that may simply be universal traits or behaviours. It is therefore very important to maintain rational and objective judgement in love in order to avoid over-interpreting and exaggerating mutual similarities and rapport.