Good evening, I am Grace.
When you’re single, many people are experienced relationship coaches, counselling others with a set of reasoning, saying more than anyone else.
What: No matter how much you love someone, you can’t lose yourself in love;
What: the most important thing between lovers is understanding, no matter how angry can not be cold war, wantonly hurt, trample on each other’s bottom line;
What: A girl in love should never be too aggressive, and she should learn to express her feelings;
……
In short, the heart has been hiding a thought is: when I fall in love, I will cherish each other, and will never make this kind of low-level mistakes!
But when it comes to love, all the reasoning that used to be there is left behind, and all the things that can and cannot be done are done.
Especially in the beginning of the relationship, we will be suddenly love confused, forget what reason is, make all kinds of mistakes.
Grace interviewed couples of different age groups and classes around us, and summarised the 8 most common mistakes made at the beginning of a relationship.
Just fall in love or ready to fall in love with you, it is recommended to collect, there will be a day to use.
1
Developing too fast
Many people in the single time especially looking forward to love, coupled with the pressure and stimulation of the outside world, for the single has an urgent need.
They are too anxious, only in that person appears, not yet a good understanding of the rapid fall in love, know two days on the bed, get along with a month on the love, not a few months on the flash wedding ……
When we first get to know a person, we are easily impressed by the surface image portrayed by the other party.
But not after a long time to understand to get along, you like just each other to shape an image, or an image in your imagination.
Feelings just started, do not develop too fast, first slowly understand, and then try to love.
Confessing too soon
“Nowadays, the pace of life is very fast, maybe the person who is single one moment, the next moment immediately found a boyfriend, so confession should be made before it is too late”.
I don’t know how many young couples in love have been mistaken by this sentence.
Whether you are suitable, whether you are on the same channel, whether you have common interests, these are not sure when, do not rush to confession first.
Confessions should be built on the basis of the two sides of the day to day together, built on the basis of the other side of you have a good feeling, rather than in the case of nothing to understand the impulse to confess.
If you like someone, you have to understand more and get along with each other, and attract each other in the stage of getting along with each other, and that confession at the end is just a ceremony to determine the relationship.
The confession is the horn when the final victory, and should not be the charge to launch the attack.
Having sex too soon
When you like someone, it’s normal to want to have them and be more intimate with them.
But two people have a long way to go together and a lot of things don’t have to be done overnight.
We are not straight or feminist, we have the right to dictate our own sexual well-being, but every time you have sex, ask your heart:
Am I willing to have intimacy because I like it, not because the other person wants it or wants to keep them through these acts.
Sex is actually a beautiful thing, but we should do it for love, not just for the sake of doing it
2
Preparing for a spare tyre
Is there a member of the opposite sex who messages you regularly? Are they in touch with you most of the time? Do you make excuses for any behaviour or actions that you find a little strange?
A relationship is the most unstable at the very beginning, many people in this period of insecurity, will prepare themselves in advance a variety of spares, once the relationship is not suitable, immediately ready to put the next spare correct, this mentality is very difficult to be right in the relationship.
Because in the event of a relationship, your first thought is not how to make the relationship more indestructible, but “it’s okay, there are still a lot of people behind the old man lined up it”. Once there is double-mindedness, this relationship is difficult to go to the end.
Moreover, there is a spare tire to “foster”, “foster” is not a rush to things, how to make each other can not stop, how to keep each other’s patience, how to capture the indulgence, so many need to study, a person’s energy which is enough to be distributed to so many people.
Excessive tension
In the beginning of the relationship, because of the lack of security, many people will be very nervous and worried, afraid of the other party suddenly left, afraid of the other party does not love themselves, so that they are overly anxious and nervous.
Excessive attention to each other, can not wait to stick to each other every minute, such love will cause a lot of pressure on each other, will also make each other feel very depressed.
Trust each other and leave a little space for each other.
3
Discussing Exes
No one wants to know every second of an ex’s time with you, at least, at the beginning of the relationship.
You discuss your ex in front of him more often than you discuss your current one, and sooner or later, you will become an ex too.
If you talk about your ex out of your mouth, if it’s good, the other person will think you’re in love with him; if it’s bad, the other person will think you’ve crossed the bridge, and won’t even let go of the one you’ve loved.
So in the beginning of the relationship, as long as the other party does not mention, you better not take the initiative to mention the topic of the ex.
Generalising about the other person
At the beginning of a relationship, many people tend to make the mistake of “generalising”.
When I first got to know my ex, we talked about “horoscopes” and I said I was a Gemini, and since then he thinks I’m a very eccentric person, so it’s useless to explain;
On the first date, I put on a light make-up for the sake of formality, and since then he has thought that I must be an ugly woman, that’s why I like to put on make-up;
The first time to watch a film, taking into account that he does not like the small love of the film, accompanied him to watch a gun battle film, since then he felt that I like this type of film.
Until we broke up, he thought I was a very refined, gun-fight film-loving, ugly woman.
Don’t easily generalise what the other person is like, if you want to generalise, spend your life slowly getting to know them.
3
Be open about the details of getting along
Relationship is a matter of two people, a lot of details of the relationship is not necessary to be published all the time on all social media.
Many people actually hope that the other person can show love in the circle of friends, such as couple photos, but many people do not want the other person to publish the details of the relationship, such as chatting records, such as transferring records, especially in the case of the other person does not know.
Birthday, sunshine each other to give us gifts, by the way, show a wave of love, indeed very let us single immense envy.
But there’s no point in sending out bed photos of your relationship, of your one-night, seven-times experience, for us to enjoy together.
Too intimate details, keep them for your own enjoyment, do not publicise them.
There’s just something magical about love that can make us touch some lines when we know they can’t be touched.
Can let us know that some things can not be done when, or will go to do.
In the face of love, I hope you are committed but not irrational, can not make the mistake not to make.
If you have already committed, it is okay, the same mistake do not make again, the same pit will not jump again and again.
